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“The all knowing one” spoke and I jumped

WTF was I thinking?

T.A.K.O.: “You’re funny! You need to write a blog.”

Me: Uh…..O.K.?

T.A.K.O. “Then you just start a new facebook page, and link them together, and presto. Easy peasy.”


I’m a bit retarded (oh sorry, mentally dumbassed) when it comes to proper lingo and following verbal instructions. TAKO should know this by now. 11 years of wedded BLISS this weekend.

Tell me to do something and I won’t.

Tell me how to do it, and you’ll probably lose my attention after the first “do you know what I mean?”

Draw me a picture and I’ll make it sexually explicit.

Hold my hand and take me through it step by step and I’m wondering when all this hand holding leads to something else.

Yes, I know that I’m a pain in the ass handful of a fucktard. Not sure how TAKO(the all knowing one) puts up with it most days.

I have to figure stuff out myself. Why? I don’t know. Stop asking stupid questions.

The easy way to set all this shit up is to apparently just open a new facebook account, which requires a new email address. I already have more than I can handle(2).

Seriously man!!! I’ve got 2 email accounts, twitter, home phone. cell phone, toll free #, BBM, msn messenger, Skype, and the list just keeps growing. I would be just as happy with one phone and an answering machine. If it’s important, leave a message. If I want to talk to you, I’ll call you back. If you don’t hear from me within a week, it’s because I’ve deemed you a waste of time and you should thank your lucky stars that I didn’t actually answer the phone when you called.

Seems everyone is so hung up on being connected 24hrs a day that they forget to pay attention to what’s right in front of them. Literally! I just about ran over 2 of these text addict pedestrian fuckasses today. Texting and walking across the road without even checking for traffic. Apparently we need more laws to help save our stupid. We have them for texting and driving, because we couldn’t figure it out for ourselves that this just isn’t exactly safe. New law: no texting and walking. Find it right in between no J-Walking and no walking down the middle of the 401 at dusk. S.O.S.  Save Our Stupid.

I will figure this out, just as I’ve learnt to drive around the textard. In the meantime, please enjoy my frustrations and give your head a shake.



4 responses to ““The all knowing one” spoke and I jumped

  1. Sheila ⋅

    I was going to the bank, standing at the light waiting for the light to turn green when an old women slammed on her break and slid to a stop in the middle of the intersection. She backs up to her spot and not two second later another old women that was going the opposite direction sat at the light and waited for it to turn RED. ….lol


    You are fabulous BDL. I want to carry your offspring!

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